Snakes On A Plain Biscuit

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’d like to remind our readers that Tarquin’s opinions do not necessarily coincide with those of anybody else at Critical Gamer. Tarquin’s views are only guaranteed to represent the views of Tarquin.

You’ve seen the movie Snakes On A Plane, right? No, me neither. It is by all accounts a terrible film however, that only got made due to internet hype that never translated into ticket sales. A shoddy unprofessional effort, that somehow snagged Samuel L. Jackson so it had a professional, talented face to show to the world. This reminds me of the games industry, and its laughable attempts to convince governments and mainstream media that it mass produces valid art.

I’m passionate about videogames, but that doesn’t mean that I have to consider them an art form. I love my nan, but that doesn’t change the fact that she stinks of piss. Sure, conceptually you could convincingly argue that games such as Flower, Limbo, Bioshock and Everyday Shooter are art. Aesthetically you could waffle on about games like Okami, Valkyria Chronicles, LittleBigPlanet, Wind Waker, and MadWorld. Nonetheless, the vast majority of videogames are uninspired and uninspiring – 99% of games are to art what shit is to haute cuisine.

Let’s look at what you might first think of when you hear the word ‘art’; paintings, statues, fuzzy felt, that kind of thing. Traditional art is primarily about manipulating emotions, and innovation. This is often (though admittedly not always) why great artists prosper and piss poor ones dissolve into obscurity. Innovation is an unexploded bomb waiting to go off at any second, unfortunately, and is not always a good thing. That’s why modern art has evolved into something that could reward you with the Turner prize for recording a wet fart in a darkened room.

All publishers want to manipulate is your bank account, and innovation? Innovation in the games industry? Hah! I’ll gladly admit that things are slowly getting better, but not by much. Just look at Sony and Microsoft copying Nintendo with their latest motion sensing input devices (kudos to Microsoft for simultaneously copying Sony). Games themselves fare no better at all. The industry is constantly recycling the same five games:

• Run and gun shooter with musclebound oiks and dynamic cover (Gears of War)
• Open – world platformer/shooter, with vehicles to steal or free running to indulge in (GTA/Assassins Creed)
• FPS with regenerating health, black and white simple good guys/bad guys, heavily scripted set pieces, lots of foreigners/aliens to shoot, and/or instant melee kills (XP obsessed online multiplayer compulsory) (Call of Duty/Halo)
• Racer that combines real world cars with arcade elements (MSR [AKA Project Gotham])
• Dull minigame compilation (for the sake of argument, Mario Party)

In addition, true art now and again makes a real effort to make an important point or achieve an ambitious goal. Surrealism was about more than painting badgers shitting pianos; it was a concerted effort by a group of artists, encompassing several different mediums, to undermine society through the power of their art. Leader of the movement, André Breton, even wrote a manifesto.

Another important thing to remember is that art lasts. Many classic movies from the first half of the 20^th century can be easily found and purchased for home viewing, and are often shown on television. Some highly revered pieces of music and traditional art have been preserved and appreciated for centuries. If the games industry is serious about presenting its output as art, it needs to stop relying so heavily on the advancement of technology and discontinuation of formats. For example, Super Mario Land on the Gameboy was released in 1989, and went on to sell 14 million units worldwide. Today however – just over 20 years later – both it and its host console are out of production, with no way of easily and legally playing it.

If the industry can’t show any respect for itself, how does it expect anybody else to show any?

The industry and the games it pumps out do not, as a rule, have any ideals higher than making a quick buck. Derivative and unimaginative shit make up the bulk of what sits on shop shelves – even the games that are fun to play. The videogames market today is a whirlpool of short – lived extremes; depressingly shallow family – friendly mini games jostle for sales alongside games that throw misguided street talk, pixellated gore, and blocky tits in your face. There are still of course intelligent games in there – somewhere.

Publishers and console manufacturers are trying to force feed the world at large Snakes On A Plain Biscuit (see, the title wasn’t just a half arsed play on words). A harmless luxury enjoyed by millions completely hidden by poisonous, homogeneous, sinister looking things that make people keep their distance. And this is supposed to be art? The worst thing is, many people believe that it is.

It’s an emotionally disturbing tragedy, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Oedipus first attempted re – entry.