Dec 17, 2010

Last week I detailed my plans for a videogame adaptation of the Old Testament, and offered the rights to all interested Christian denominations. After some intense bidding, I’m close to sealing the deal with either Queen Elizabeth II (head of the Church of England) or Pope Benedict XVI (head of the Catholic Church). I’m sorry to say that there was...

Nov 30, 2010

There have been countless Bible – inspired Christian ‘em ups over the last few decades. The problem is that they’re either misedutainment titles, or unlicensed; and therefore buggy, boring, and technically inept. Christianity is on the decline worldwide; I asked a priest why, and he said ‘Buggered if I know’. Not sure which one of us he...

Nov 24, 2010

How do developers and publishers decide what goes into a sequel? Presumably it’s based on consumer and critical feedback, unused ideas, technical limitations and innovations, and narrative consistency. Bo-ring! What they should do is, as we all know, add one letter to the title of the previous game and go from there. That will produce some fantastic and...

Nov 22, 2010

If I were to suggest that the Wii is the best console for hardcore gamers, I would be laughed off the face of the planet via ‘teh internetz’. As I have no desire to ride a wave of bad spelling, questionable grammar and derogatory comments about my mother into the ether, I shall take a different tack. First of all, I’d like you to ask...

Nov 19, 2010

It’s now official: there will be no new NBA Elite, what was NBA Live, this year. In an almost unprecedented move, EA have turned a self imposed delay into a full-blown cancellation, removing an annual staple and a guaranteed earner from their release schedule . Their failure to churn out a competent reboot for their flagging basketball sim has already...

Nov 16, 2010

Have you carried out your duty and bought CoD: Black Ops? I ask as it seems that as gamers, and as consumers, we are now expected by everyone, from Activision Blizzard to the world’s media, to go and automatically purchase the latest game. So I ask again, have you gone, taken out a pre-order or filed into your local supermarket and bought it on impulse...